Sex Hardens (gross pun semi-intended)

One of my inspirations for HerStory, was Marilyn Monroe. There are many facets to Marilyn Monroe that I will address. For the sake of this post, I'm only touching on her sexual experiences. Monroe was someone who was constantly offered sex in exchange for acting roles. The head of the company she signed with told her that she was not photogenic. Without recognizing her worth, she performed countless sexual favors on directors and producers of film. As a result, her self worth and value rapidly declined, leading her into a three-some relationship with two mean who ultimately abandoned her. She became pregnant from that relationship, and aborted the child, heeding the advice of her manager. She also took part in countless affairs, relationships, and marriages, that only left her feeling more broken and used. One of her husbands, Arthur Miller, betrayed her by utilizing her experiences in one of his projects. She fell in love with the president of the united states and allowed him to use her for sexual favors as well, believing that having sex was somehow better then respect and love. Her repetitive behavior was perpetuated by the concept that she was not worth the dignity of love. She’d stay in bed for days, not eating, not moving, feeling disgusted with herself, yet she would continue the behavior that made her feel dead to begin with. She allowed a hardening of her heart to occur, convincing herself that her need for love would only make her vulnerable and hurt. In her situation, her countless sexual experiences numbed her, and kept her away from relationships that could have promised longevity and gentleness. Not all sexual experiences can deaden the nerves in hearts, but too much of them without the constancy of love and commitment can certainly harden hearts and make people more like walking zombies instead of alive, giving, joyful beings.

(The picture above is a candid shot of her that does not depict her as a sexual object but simply a woman who loved life.)

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I keep listening to a delicious song on the Elizabethtown soundtrack. The singer continually asks, “Don’t I hold you like you want?” He is not demanding anything from the object of his affection, but his intention is to give. Oh so nice!

don't i hold you like you want to be held
and don't i treat you like you want
and don't i love you like you want to be loved
and you're running away
and what's your name
am i in the way
don't i hold you like you want to be held
don't i treat you like you want
and don't i love you like you want to be loved
and you're running away
and what's your name
and i'm in the way
sometimes I hold you right
nice and tight to me
don't i
don't i hold you like you want?

;-) Maria