Monday, February 9, 2009

Sizzlin' Bizzlin' News- R RATED


So, guess what. VOX (one of the coolest clubs since The Babysitter's Club) is sponsoring The Vagina Monologues. This is one of the most saucy, fun, and important theatrical pieces to be a part of. Auditions are this Wed. night in the fireside lounge from 7-11pm. I auditioned and simply the act of auditioning has completely revived my energy to do work that protects and communicates the feminine journey. I got a kick out of it, and though there are probably way cooler chicks trying out for the play (i stopped being cool around five years ago), it was great to perform such an important monologue. Though I want to tell you all about it, I want you to come out and see it! I'll let you know when the performances are.

In other news, our opening is quickly approaching. We're excited to say that the HerStory premier will be on March 25, 2009. Should be pretty darn cool. More details will follow.

Also, my radio show for this semester is momentarily on hold as I have my hands in so many things right now, and I just can't simply prepare for a weekly show. However, I will be posting things that I wanted to address on my show. For example, I want to talk about the concept of sex/physical intimacy during college years, and what it means for a man and a woman, if it's the same, and what are the pro's and con's about it. I would like to get your fine ideas about it at If you make it really good, I may want to turn it into a column in the paper, so write me well mon petite chou.

Preforming the monologue tonight reminded me of a book I bought a few winters ago called "The Bride Stripped Bare," about a woman who has a perfectly splendid life though is sexually unsatisfied so she cheats on her husband (think Jerry Springer meets Virgina Wolfe.) I believe the author just confessed who she truly was, as the book was published anonymously when it first came out. What reminded me of this book was the unabashed way the author depicted what a woman needs physically, while in my monologue I auditioned with portrayed a woman who was out of touch with her physical needs in fear of extreme embarrassment. I remember wanting to rip out this part of the book and photo copy it for my girlfriends, and I probably will sometime. Not because it's should be taken as a sex bible, but simply a list of someone writing clearly and without apology about what they want. Also the following excerpt should spark interesting ideas for our sex in college blog chatting. It was a simple list of everything the main character in the book liked, and everything she did not. I'd like to build our own list of what we Rider women fancy, and what we don't. Oh sugar, I can't find the list in the book as of now so I'm going to write one with things Rider women have said to me, and things I have heard elsewhere. Once I find this neat list in the book I'll post it.

"You feel an intoxicating freedom when you're not with [your significant other], and yet you don't want them to be gone. You think of the two type of aloneness you've known recently: this wonderful, sparkly, soul-refreshing type, and the despairing loneliness that sucks the breath from your life." (Gemmell, 129).

What Rider Women Want:
Head Rubbing
Feet Rubbing
Intimate talking that doesn't involve dirty talk
Very dirty talk
To be left alone
To be possessed
To make love intoxicated numb and happy
To make love sober tired antsy
Sex that doesn't get better when one or both parties is intoxicated
Sex that is only good when intoxicated
Calling sex making love
Calling sex messing around
To tell their friends about it
To keep the details to themselves
To feel closer to their partners afterwards
To walk away from their partners afterwards
Eye contact
No eye contact
Faking orgasm
Killing the mood with honesty
To have sex with one person only
To have sex with multiple people only
To be dominated
To dominate
To be hurt
To be nurtured
To be corrected
To not be corrected
To talk to their mom's about it
To never mention any word that starts with "s" to their mother
to be respected
to be forgotten
to be remembered
To be called endearing names
To be called less endearing names
To remain innocent
To abhor vulnerability
To wear fancy underwear
To never be told or asked to wear it
To not have one body part focused on
To have no body parts focused on ("get it over with!")
Consistent touch
Hands off

I just found the list in the book! It is more graphic then I feel like posting in this stage of the game. I'll include points that will not make your grandmother blush (as much) and will allow me to sleep even if middle schoolers fall upon our page. Never mind (I change my mind often). I'm going to post everything in its entirety. Children really should not be allowed to scan the web without supervision anyway.

"What you do not want:
To suck. The smell of stale smoke. A tongue in your ear. Underwear involving g-strings or satin or leopard print or lace. The vaginal sex gone too long. A thrusting so hard that it burns, it hurts. Swallowing. Breast sucking, breast licking, breast anything. To be asked what you are thinking. For it to be pushed upon you when you're tired, grubby, not yet wet. Being pinned down. A rush to get in. A penis that's too big. Loud snorting at climax, or groaning, or any expression like "ooh yes, baby" and "c'mon." For the roll-over after the coming to be too abrupt. To be kicked out too quick.

What you love:
The arch of the foot, its bones, rake-splayed. Wide, blunt, clean fingernails, Michelangelo wrists. Cleanliness. The nape of your neck nuzzled. Your eyelids kissed. Burrowing deep under the blankets. Clothes to be drawn off slowly, in exquisite anticipation. Cold, smooth walls you are rammed against. The sound of a lover's breath close to your ear. Your hair pulled back when he's inside. Your name spoken aloud just before he comes. Connecting, a holiness fluttering within you both. Seduction that's slow, intriguing, unique, by flattery, extravagant gestures, test: poem scraps on napkins, filthy e-mails that should never be sent, love letters scrawled on Underground passes, a line composed in lipstick on your back as you sleep, written backward, to be read in the mirror; oh yes, all that."

Yow! Yow, I say. No one should settle in any area of their lives, not in their job, not at school, and not in bed.

HerStory Head Editor

1 comment:

C said...

Hey Maria, you're brill and I really love you and what you do. Thank you.